Kathy admits she was a relentless people-pleaser. As she entered recovery, and learned to build self-esteem, she began to place a higher value on her own needs. Slowly, but surely, with the help of the program, and the fellowship, Kathy has built her own character and has become a more authentic version of herself.
CHARACTER BUILDING
Demands made upon other people for too much attention, protection, and love can only invite domination or revulsion. . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 44
When I uncovered my need for approval in the Fourth Step, I didn't think it should rank as a character defect. I wanted to think of it more as an asset (that is, the desire to please people). It was quickly pointed out to me that this "need" can be very crippling. Today I still enjoy getting the approval of others, but I am not willing to pay the price I used to pay to get it. I will not bend myself into a pretzel to get others to like me. If I get your approval, that's fine; but if I don't, I will survive without it. I am responsible for speaking what I perceive to be the truth, not what I think others may want to hear. Similarly, my false pride always kept me overly concerned about my reputation. Since being enlightened in the A.A. program, my aim is to improve my character.
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Need the Daily Reflection Book?
Read about Recovery on our Blog
Support the Podcast:
- On Patreon: https://patreon.com/dailyreflection
- On PayPal: https://paypal.me/dailyreflection
If you’re struggling with alcohol or addiction, or wondering how to stop drinking it’s helpful to know that there’s a solution that has worked for millions of people. The Daily Reflection Podcast provides hope, and inspiration through the shared experiences of people that have found a way out.